DIZMOMMY > Captioning: The Secret to Retaining Memories


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January 3, 2015

Captioning: The Secret to Retaining Memories

Though your kid growing up appears to be gradual as it happens daily before your very eyes, there is nothing more sobering than last year’s pictures. This is me today, squealing reflecting on Dylan a year ago: “OH MY GOD DYLAN LOOK! LOOK! OH MY GOD, WHO IS THAT?! YOU WERE SO SMALL!!!! I MISS YOU WAAAAAAH!!!!” 

Seeing a tiny baby who can’t support his neck in a picture, then seeing that same baby three feet away flipping a coffee table onto its side is a truth that hits me in stages. At first I stare at the picture like, “Aw, he was so cute!” And then I’m all, “WAIT a minute…he’ll never be that small again.” Catapulting the, “PLEASE STOP GROWING! RIGHT NOW!” Before finally transforming my panic into excitement as I look at my real mess maker of a child in real time and exclaim, “Hey stop it! You’re a big boy now, you know better.” 

Pictures can be so misleading. They’re quiet. They don’t scream, they don’t hit, and they don’t poop all over you. If baby pictures were honest, they’d include the pertinent information crucial to reminding you of how truly good those “good old days” were, instead of simply presenting some cutesy face that ignites our biased (and favorite) recollections. So before I forget forever and while my memory is still hot, I’m captioning the 1 year old I want to remember when someone asks me when I'll be having baby #2. 

Aw how cute, we’re kissing! Not so fast. This is the weekend following Dylan’s first week in a daycare, where he caught his first virus that made him miserable. We took him on a walk to get him fresh air. Halfway through the trip he began screaming inconsolably. This is why I picked him up...and forced him to kiss me. 

First of all Libechen, I’m sorry. Dylan was teething and was as usual, inconsolable. The only way to make life tolerable for the both of us was to give him our 14 year old dog, Liebchen…and putting her on his car for him to push. Though I don’t know for sure, I see a little bit of shame in her face. Three minutes of entertainment afforded by exploiting my dog for my son. Worth it. 

Easter! We were so excited to take Dylan to the Easter festivities! Unfortunately, he was having an “off” day and remained unimpressed, grumpy, and eventually violent when he couldn’t start the egg hunt before it started. But hey, he looked really cute. 

Actually, this photo is pretty straightforward. But there is one special note: It was mother’s day. All I wanted a hug and a picture- he wanted the hell away. #LifeStory 

This is too much. That smile is pure happiness. This is one of those pictures that I don’t care what was happening before, after, or during this photo because the sentiment shining through is intoxicating. This type of photo is graded highly dangerous because it’s bound to give me baby fever and cause me to suffer from selective (and temporary) memory loss. I just want to bottle up his sunshine and bask in it forever! OH MY GOD DYLAN PLEASE STOP GROWING UP!

Never mind. I remember now. 

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