I suffer from stiffenitis, a condition that causes my external appearance to conflict with my internal reactions. This means that when my overactive sense of humor is triggered by environmental factors, such as Dylan doing something terrible that I shouldn’t laugh at or encourage, I’m forced to curb a smile through straining my facial muscles. Basically it all boils down to being immature and finding Dylan’s bad attitude and incessant sass hilarious. It’s troublesome.

Dylan is sadistic and proud. He starts with a sneak attack and ends with an unwavering, “Well whattaya gonna do about it momz?” Somehow he knows I won’t press charges or knock his butt out, and the risk of hard time in his crib (2 whole minutes) is totally worth it.
But..my sense of humor is so twisted and sick that I actually find his repetitive jerk of all jerks attitude to be nothing short of hilarious. It kills me that I cant enjoy our cat and mouse exchanges like I really want to. Apparently a girl’s gotta parent responsibly because what starts with crashing into mom will evolve into crashing into the neighbor's cat if I let him get away with it. “It’s not funny Dylan,” I lie while picking up the car and pushing it away. “Mommy said go around."
And with my full-fledged stiffenitis in effect, I turn back towards the dishes and do my very best not to laugh hysterically at the miniature-button-pushing-brat-year-old.
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