DIZMOMMY > Can Coffee Stunt My Son's Growth?


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July 29, 2014

Can Coffee Stunt My Son's Growth?

It’s happening just like they said it would: Dylan is growing at an alarming pace. But before I attempt to stunt his growth by way of a coffee filled sippy cup, I’m going step back and catch my breath. Keeping up ain't easy. 

Six months ago when I made the decision to put Dylan into daycare I was kind of a mess. The idea of strangers caring for/protecting my baby had me salivating at an all-you-can-fear buffet, full of wacko what-ifs that I couldn’t stop from consuming. I even debated getting a hidden camera! But as it turns out, Dylan is a daycare hotshot and the adjustment period was non-existent. Apparently Dylan is a honeybaked ham who enjoys the schoolboy life full of fun, girlfriends, and incessant dotes over his good behavior. (Huh? He’s good?) What a relief! Dylan made it way too easy for me to get comfortable with the routine, the staff, and the whole enchilada. But do you hear that? Change is at the door. 

A promotion to big boy land with new classmates, a fresh curriculum, and teachers I don't really know is a few months away. Or, well, it should’ve been a few months away. But thanks to Dylan’s genetically predispositioned impatience (cough: from his dad) he's wiggled his way up in the world of daycare classrooms. And hyper-growth is so Dylan's style. I mean, back when newborn Dylan should’ve been content with 2 ounces of milk, he insisted on 7; and before he could even wear his 1 month clothes, they were outgrown; and don’t get me started on “percentiles” because I’m done charting his lack of commitment to babyhood.

So yet again, Dylan has rushed through time and has convinced everyone that he’s older than he actually is. While I've been stressing over the future torment Dylan would experience when he'd be separated from his beloved Anabelle, or how sad he'd be when he wasn't being held by his favorite teachers, Dylan was literally banging on the older kid’s classroom door hoping they’d let him in. WHOA! Didn't see that coming. 

Part of me wants to resist, deny, and even try to stunt his growth with some coffee, but it wont change the fact that if you knock on a door long enough, it's gonna open. So yes, change has been let in a lot sooner than mom was prepared for but what's more important is that Dylan is ready. And in true Dizbaby fashion, he has hit the ground running while I try to keep up...and I couldn't be more proud!

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