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January 3, 2014

Raising a Serial Killer? CTFD.

I have to be honest, I'm a little scared. At times, I cant tell whether Dylan's behavior is typical baby stuff, or if he's foreshadowing a future as a serial killer. Generally, Dylan is a happy go-lucky baby with little to no fear or qualms. But once his freedom is limited in any capacity (e.g. no, you cannot take mommy's phone; yes, it's time to change your diaper), shit gets crazy. For starters, he hits me...repeatedly. He will also hit himself upside the head with his fist, and tug on his hair. His favorite thing to do is throw himself backwards without regard for the hard floor, tile, or furniture he will body slam. All of this behavior scares the bejeezus out of me. 

With the exception of not allowing him to hit, I try to remain non-reactive in the midst of his outbursts so that I don't fuel them. I'd like to have confirmation that these eruptions are totally and unequivocally normal in the realm of baby conduct, but oh freaking well. So recently when I came across this article on the latest parenting trend, "CTFD", I breathed a sigh of relief. CTFD stands for "Calm The Fuck Down" and in theory, it should be applied when monster Dylan begins thrashing his body against the back of his highchair, or screams because I'm strapping him in his carseat. All I have to do is cool my jets, take a deep breath, put on my mama ain't stressin' pants, and rest assured that alles gut. Why didn't I think of that? 

Am I scared of what Dylan's future holds? Absolutely, I'm a mom. But I'm also excited and thrilled for it. And since it's all too soon to tell, I can save myself from premature graying by curbing the serial killer factor and calming the fuck down.